HOW TO TRAIN YOUR ZOMBIE
CASE STUDY 3: Ed the Christian [chapter2]
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR ZOMBIE
CASE STUDY 3: Ed the Christian
But I went even deeper with Ed the next week. I wanted to see how far I could push a schizophrenic before he would break character so I devised several questions that would be absolutely irresistible to an intelligent mind that was also a self-proclaimed born again Christian. I wanted to see if I could release the Manchurian candidate and get him to show himself.
So here is what I did…
The next Sunday I asked him, “Ed, are you born again?”
Ed: “The pastor confirms that all the elders and deacons should be and is going through a course right now with us…”
I was trying to get a definite yes or no answer from him.
Me: “Are your children born again?”
Ed: “Well, they grew up in the church and were baptized so I would hope that they made the right decision…”
Me: “If one of your children was not born again and didn’t know it and I knew it and could prove it to you would you want me to tell you?”
Ed: “Well, one lives in Cincinnati and is married, the other boy is a pastor in a ministry in South America…”
Me: “If one of your children was addicted to a substance and didn’t know it and I knew it but you were not aware of it would you want me to tell you?”
Ed: “My children are all grown and old enough to make their own decisions so I can’t really be aware of their situations right now…”
Me: “If one of your grandchildren were addicted to a substance and didn’t know it and I knew it but you were not aware of it would you want me to tell you?”
Ed: “They are living with their parents so I don’t really know…”
His level of deflection was amazing. He was evasive and boring at the same time.
He was squirming and it was palpable but he was obviously a pro and could have done this all day if he had to.
Finally I asked the question I would have loved to hear a “Yes” to.
Me: “If you were Schizophrenic and didn’t know it but I could prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt to you, would you want me to tell you?”
Ed: I don’t know a whole lot about mental illness. I would think that my doctor would be able to notice if something was wrong since he sees me quite a bit…”
Me: “If you knew that I was Schizophrenic would you tell me?”
Ed: “I don’t think I’m qualified to really …”
And then someone hijacked my interrogation with a rush of commotion over the location of the church bulletins. No one was clever enough to jump in and save Ed. Ed was always the go-to guy for that.
Part 4: broke zombie
